In the last few days I have had to ask myself ‘What constitutes rudeness?’
Is it how we say something? Is it what we say? Does who we say it to make a difference? When does what we say stop being an opinion and become rude?
I have a teenage son who believes in his right to be heard. We have always encouraged him to have a voice and be heard. He believes whole heatedly in fairness and justice for all to the point where he will tell you which part of the Human Right Act refers to the rights of children.
Should children have freedom of expression?
However at school he has come unstuck, he is being labeled as rude because he has questioned the actions of teachers. He sees certain pupils being disciplined and others not. He finds himself being singled out by certain teachers and reprimanded. So I go back to my question ‘Should children be allowed freedom of expression? but when does what we say stop being an opinion and become rude?
Should children be ruled by fear and intimidation at school or does the enlightened school rule by engagement and earn the respect of the pupils?
Does someone have the right to be respected only because they are in a position of authority even if they have done nothing to earn that respect?
We all manage our lives and families, our business, our staff in different ways, some will manage by fear and authority and demand respect , some will manage through engagement and gain respect. The way in which each of these cases sees rudeness will be different.
The manager who manages by fear and demands respect, will see rudeness as anyone who disagrees with their regime – why? Does it make them insecure? Do they feel undermined?
Those who manage through engagement will include others and will earn the respect of many, thus having no reason to feel undermined and insecure. They will be able to accept a difference of opinion and not feel threatened.
Having a son who has just become a teenager, has made me think about the boundaries that should be set, and how we enforce those boundaries. By simply saying that this is the way that it will be done, I have found my son can become rebellious, but by engaging him in discussion finding out his views and thoughts, we have reached the same set of goals and boundaries, the difference being that he is happy to respect the decisions that as a family we have made together. Which of course seems perfectly clear as I write this post, but it has taken me the last few months to work through and understand the ways of being the Mum of a teenage boy.
But what of a school, where children are allowed freedom of expression are spoken to and not at – do we end up with anarchy and chaos or do we have a school full of happily engaged children who respect every teacher in the school, because they know they will be listened to and having nothing to fear by having a difference of thought or opinion?
Well a lot of questions – any answers?
have a good day and enjoy
With Mothers Day just around the corner – – this Sunday 15th March, I thought I would share a lovely little quote.
Love Your Mum
Why not bake a cake for your Mummy
What ever you do, enjoy time with your Mum
It is with a slightly heavy heart that I write this post, we are moving, time to move on.
A Room in the Garden
We have spent happy years in this house made loads and loads of memories, Christmas, birthdays, fun times with friends we’ve done it all.
We have enjoyed the garden, animals, chickens camping expeditions, picnics under the apple tree, put up swings on the cedar tree, my children have had a ball.
Under the Cedar Tree
The sad part of moving is the garden, it takes so long to sort a garden, no quick fix there, but fun has been had.
The Girls in the Sun
So for now we are looking and waiting with baited breath as to where our next home will be, we are excited about the new but sad to let go of the old.
Kitchen Shelves are Finished
For now I am off to pack up yet more of the garden and maybe find the courage to tackle the garage!
Have a lovely weekend
2013 the year in pictures. 2013 came and went incredibly quickly for us. A year when the children grew up even more and my son started senior school. The year started off so cold and then meta morphed into the most fantastic summer that we have had for a long time. What a year enjoy!
The year started with great enthusiasm and we baked some bread.
We started the year baking bread
It then faltered slightly as I found a lump in breast. I feel hugely fortunate that it was benign and normal life resumed.
The Boob job I didn’t want!
Spring blossomed in the garden
Easter Came and we made Egg Cosies
We spent many happy days out and about during the half term and the Easter holidays
Visiting Hampton Court Maze
Hugging the BIG tree at Petworth Park
We hosted a camp over for 57 children and adults plus 6 dogs
Parking this way . .
Jam Jar Jellies were loved by the children
We baked some summer cupcakes
Strawberries and Cream Cupcakes
made a corsage . .
Making a Corsage
. . and then it was the summer and the garden was amazing . .
In Kew Gardens my daughter blossomed
As did my son
We spent days on the beach, we camped in Dorset . . .
West Wittering beach at the end of the day
On the way to Dorset
fun times were had . .
Waiting for the train in Dorset
we tackleld the serious business of eating ice cream
The photo that made me cry . . taken by Lottie . .
Me and my husband
I had a new camera and tested it out with my little girl . .
Just Lottie my darling girl
too soon it was back to school in September and my son found football . .
Alexander finds football
We made a needle case
Making a needle case
and then it was half term and were off to a wild and rugged Cornwall . .
and then Christmas came . .
The children and I at the Christmas Tree
A selection from our year. As always I found so hard to decide which photos to chose. We did also bake and cook our way through 2013 feel free to so see if we have baked your favourite cake.
Welcome to 2014 . .
Tea in Unexpected Places
Wordless Wednesday – let the pictures tell the story: Tea in Unexpected Places